Recently a colleague of mine, Bob Hertzendorf, related an interesting story about someone he was able to help via hypnosis counseling.
Bob's client was a retired military man who had achieved a high rank during a long and distinguished career serving our country. Having undergone abdominal surgery the week before, this individual developed a severe and disabling case of hiccups which standard medical treatment had been unable to remedy. (Anyone who has ever had a persistent bout of hiccups will tell you it can be a maddening ordeal.)
Desperate for anything that might possibly help, this individual sought out Bob's services. Trying several different types of hypnotic intervention to no avail during the session, a sudden flash of inspiration came to Bob. While the client was in the hypnotic state, he suggested that he give the hiccups a "dishonorable discharge." Lo and behold, the hiccups disappeared almost instantly and have not returned!
What this story illustrates is the power of metaphoric healing. On a logical, conscious level the idea of giving an annoying symptom a "dishonorable discharge," makes absolutely no sense. The conscious mind would understand "I shall now relax my diaphragmatic muscles and in doing so end these hiccups," and it is a sure bet this would have no effect on the problem.
The subconscious mind, which controls the body, has its own way of reasoning called "trance logic" and it readily responds to stories. Under the right circumstances it can translate an abstraction into a tangible physical or behavioral change. This is especially true when a skilled hypnotist like Mr. Hertzendorf is able to match the right metaphor to a particular client problem.
The concept of giving a dishonorable discharge is one a member of the military brass would be quite familiar with, however it probably wouldn't resonate nearly as well with someone who didn't have that kind of background.
And on this Labor Day weekend, marking the semi-official end of summer, I am reminded of a story about a group of kids who were beating the sweltering August heat by swimming in a cool farm pond.
Things were going well until one of the girls realized she had lost a silver dollar her grandfather had given her for safekeeping. Seeing how upset she was, the other boys and girls helped her search the bottom of the pond for the lost coin. However in doing so they were also stirring up the muddy bottom and soon the water became murky and cloudy.
After a time one of the boys proclaimed, "I know how we can find it." Yet there was some disbelief amongst the others when it turned out his idea was for all of them to get out of the water and take a long break sunning themselves on the edge of the pond. However, since nothing else was working they were willing to give it a try.
And while they all rested there, soaking up the warmth and comfort of the late afternoon summer sun, all the mud and silt they had stirred up gently settled back to the bottom of the pond. Then after a time this group of young friends all stood around the edge of the swimming hole and looked in. Soon the girl who had lost the coin saw a glint of light reflected at the bottom. The lost silver dollar had been found!
And sometimes if we step back, relax and stop trying so hard, the answers to our problems will often appear spontaneously. Sort of like how Ram Dass was quoted as saying, "Just don't do something, sit there!" I hope you and yours get plenty of R and R this weekend!
P.S. If you are interesting in learning about Bob Hertzendorf, the Certified Hypnotist mentioned in this article, and other fine New Jersey Hypnotists, please pay a visit to the New Jersey Hypnotist Directory.
If anyone is interested I am auctioning a hypnosis collectible on ebay, Rapid Induction Hypnosis and Self-Hypnosis by Arnold Furst. As luck would have it I have another copy of this rarity and decided to make this copy available. (if you do an internet search you will see that used booksellers are getting $150+ for this volume) If interested you can see the listing at
Right now consider some area of your life that you would like to improve in. It can be any type of activity; professional, athletic, scholastic, creative, etc. Got something in mind? Good, we will refer to that activity as X. Now consider which of these statements you agree with most:
A: People who are good at X are born that way; you either have it or you don't.
B: The reason some people excel at X is mostly because of their drive, focus, hard work and persistence.
Which one did you pick? According to psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck in her book Mind Set: The New Psychology of Success, you are going to be much better off if you picked B. In the book Dr. Dweck refers to two basic mindsets, fixed and growth, and how they impact on personal development.
Our culture places a lot value on the ability of standardized tests to predict future success. Do well on the I.Q. or SAT tests and it is assumed you will be the one living on the house on the hill. And if you are not showing athletic promise by the age of 7 or 8, you might as well forget about it.
Indeed we seem to prefer the belief that our shining stars virtually sprung from the womb in a high state of performance. And if at first you don't succeed, you're off the hook since it just wasn't meant to be. Yet it is this so?
Many sports writers and fans agree that Michael Jordan was possibly the best player ever in the game of basketball. If his gifts were entirely genetic, then why was he cut from his varsity team in high school? Apparently some aspects of his game were deficient yet the young Jordan did not give up. Instead he found a sympathetic coach who was willing to work with him for a couple of hours before school each morning in order to bring his skills up to par.
Obviously Jordan had considerable potential for his chosen sport, however it was his passion for basketball, a belief that his skills could be developed and a solid work ethic that made it happen. How often does some much heralded child or teen prodigy become yet another "whatever happened to" so and so?
Dr. Dweck notes the following differences between the fixed and growth mindsets.
Fixed: Your potential is set at birth. If you are good at something it should be effortless. Failure is a signal to either make excuses and cast blame, or just give up. A lot of effort is spent maintaining the façade of being smart, athletic, talented, etc.
Growth: recognizes that while there are limits on anyone's potential, it takes a lot of hard work and persistence to even come close to reaching it. Setbacks are learning experiences and reminders to push harder. Would like to win like everyone else, but can be satisfied with the knowledge that he put forth his best effort at the time even if he doesn't.
Tip for parents/teachers/anyone dealing with the younger set: you can encourage children towards the growth mindset by praising their efforts, instead of traits like "you are so smart." Some research indicates that telling children that they are smart encourages the fixed mindset and increases the likelihood that they will not apply themselves when faced with a challenging task. since they will reason that smart people shouldn't have to work too hard. Instead notice and encourage persistence and effort. Example, "I know you really put a lot of work into that project and it came out great!"
P.S. For more information on Dr. Dweck's book and other titles of interest, please visit my Recommended Reads.
With the July 4 Independence Day holiday here in the States, one can't help but be struck by the power that thoughts and ideas can have. Most of the founding fathers began their lives as loyal subjects to the British monarchy. Yet over time, those in the budding American republic shifted from the perception that the authority of the king was of divine origin to a new belief system that a better society would emerge if it were based on the rights and merits of the individual-and that King George was far from being heaven sent.
"Well it depends on how you look at it," goes the familiar phrase. And a large portion of transformational work is based on that idea and the subsequent practice known as reframing or choosing to change our perceptions. This is why two people can encounter identical circumstances and yet have radically different responses. Although other people and outside situations absolutely do influence our lives, it is our thinking about them that largely determines what we will experience.
With the arrival of the summer season here at the Jersey Shore I have been using a reframing technique to keep my stress levels on an even keel when it comes to bridge openings. For those of you who are from different parts of the planet, let me explain. In coastal New Jersey we have a system draw bridges over the rivers that lead to the Atlantic Ocean so that sailboats and other large vessels can pass through.
And as anyone who lives here can tell you, these bridge openings have an uncanny knack of taking place when you are late for work, tired and just want to go home, have a crying baby in the back seat, etc. The fact that most of these vessels are owned by the "have you any Grey Poupon?" set seems to make the situation even less palatable for the average local.
So for many, the stimulus of the bridge opening triggers angry thoughts ("this is so unfair!" "where's my musket when I need it!" and so on) which in turn leans to an unpleasant emotional state which solves absolutely nothing. (Believe me, if telekinesis were real, there would be scores of sunken sailboats at the bottom of the Manasquan River!)
Noticing that I too was letting my thoughts stress me out during these interruptions I decided to reframe my thinking. Now getting caught by a bridge opening is a signal that I should take a deep breath, relax and tell myself "it's nothing personal against me, its just the way things are." The result is that I feel much calmer.
This reframing technique of "its nothing personal against me," works well in a number of situations where we may find the behavior of others aggravating like traffic jams, indifferent sales clerks, etc. Although less than considerate behavior has the potential to be frustrating, it usually isn't anything personal. Chances are that the other person isn't mature enough to notice or care how others are responding to the thoughtless behavior.
Now this isn't to say that social activism doesn't have its time and place, we wouldn't have become a nation if it didn't. However, if we don't have the time/effort/resources to change an external situation the next best thing is to alter the thought that triggers the stress.
Just wanted to let everyone know that I have a free ebook you may be interested in entitled "Secrets from the Hypnotist's Field Manual," which I have posted for download at the New Jersey Hypnotist Directory. It contains a number of chapters on communication, persuasion and other hypnosis related topics. Would be quite interested in hearing your comments about it. Have a great weekend! Jim Malone
